Wake Up Alone
by YouSentMeFlying
Summary: Time was nothing more than what seemed to be an expanding crypt of sadness and cruelty. Time never ended. Never. It was a melancholy song trying to defeat you. But Eli was already defeated.


**First off, I want to apologize for not writing anything new in quite some time. As some of you know, I'd been fighting with recovery and couldn't find the inspiration to write a single word. I've slowly been getting better and have started writing again – I really missed it. If you know me, I'm incapable of writing a happy story, so to help deal with my struggles, I've approached it in this plot. I'm trying to get back into the swing of things, so I apologize if this first chapter is a little choppy.**

**As always, I shall place a lovely little warning.**

**Strong substance and alcohol abuse, language, sexual themes, and some violence. **

**I always feel like I'm rating a movie when I write those thingys. **

A rush of stunning euphoria overcame the young soul as he sat limp over a strip of foil and its crisped belongings. Each and every limb felt it was made up of jelly; his mind was drifting off into a deeper and darker place – the world faded around him, nothing but fog surrounding his still body. He was no longer Elijah Goldsworthy. He'd let the bad in a long time ago; who knows just how long ago it was when he got a first taste? Time was nothing more than what seemed to be an expanding crypt of sadness and cruelty. Time never ended. _Never_. It was a melancholy song trying to defeat you. But Eli was already defeated.

Eli was defeated the moment he allowed a complete stranger to tie off his arm and slip the cold, sharp syringe beneath his brittle skin. He'd blown out a majority of his veins by now, so he switched to snorting and smoking. Much less painful and hygienic than stabbing himself with a needle five or more times a day.

He brought the worn lighter up to eye level and clicked down the wheel with the roll of his thumb. It spit fire, the warm flame was roaring in the palm of his hand. Different shades of reds and oranges and blues danced before his eyes; he grew hypnotized by this, slowly falling deeper and deeper down into his massive hole of depression.

This very moment was when he finally came to realization – _he was addicted to smack._

And at that thought, he reached down to pick up his foil and his straw once again. With his back pressed up against the corner, and his legs spread on the floor, he placed the lighter under the foil, striking up that beautiful flame for a second time.

There's no easy way to hide smack from your parents. Hell, the smell was strong enough that his neighbours knew whenever he was lighting up. Lucky for Eli, Bullfrog and CeCe didn't see any harm in him doing drugs every once in a while. They claim it's because every teenager needs to be free to explore themselves. A part of Eli was very glad and relieved that they didn't mind him partying a little, but another part felt as if they didn't care about him or his health. If anyone was crazy, it was his parents for letting him do one of the worst possible drugs out there. Have they ever once worried about him?

As the flame danced beneath the foil, he traced over what was left of his brown, inhaling deep and long to make sure he could last through school with the most relaxed buzz. It hit him immediately, just like the last. The drug entered his body, tingling up from his toes to his head; he could feel the greatest warming sensation spreading behind his eyes.

xxx

He strode into school that same morning – his head bobbled lazily as he continued down the never-ending hallway. His mind wandered on as it always seemed to do after lighting up first thing after waking up – the world was on a fuzzy mute around him; a low hum of chatter. Eli was so wrapped up in his own little world that he had almost blocked out the one-sided conversation his girlfriend was having at his side. How long ago had she caught up with him? How long had he been trudging along these godforsaken, terribly lit school hallways for?

Miserably, completely tweaked, Eli dragged along his feet like a hopeless zombie in search of a heart or soul.

"I just really think this will be good for my mom and Glenn, don't you?" Clare rambled on. In response, he let out nothing more than a heavy groan from deep within his foggy chest. His voice was louder and groggier than he'd expected. Inhaling nearly two grams every single day for several months on-end really gave his voice box a royal beating. He almost couldn't recognize himself at all anymore. Eli had lost himself way down the yellow brick road, somewhere between the Tin Man and the Cowardly Lion. "Are you even listening to me?" Clare scoffed at his side. She was beginning to believe he didn't give a fuck about anything she had to say; she wasn't entirely wrong, of course, he truly could not stand to hear her voice eating away at his eardrums for her seemingly long tangents any longer. In fact, Eli was almost grateful for his haphazard drug-induced blackouts.

"Yeah," he croaked, his throat as raw as a toad's – razorblades coasted down his esophagus ever-so-slowly. "Yeah, whatever."

The duo made it to their joint locker after walking for what seemed to be numerous hours. Every minute of every day dragged on and on for Eli – he never had any sense of time at all. It's not like he minded it at all, however.

The young red-head moaned in frustration, stomping her foot to the floor like a toddler throwing a tantrum. "What is your problem, Eli? Things have been going great for us over these last few months, but it's progressively gone downhill. Our relationship is almost as unstable as a rollercoaster…" There she goes with her unnecessary similes again. Eli absolutely hated that.

"Wonder why that could be," he remarked with a sluggish smirk. "It's not like dating you is at all similar to an amusement park ride."

"Don't act like such a dick."

"Then stop being a fucking controlling bitch," he almost shouted through clenched teeth. The words just slipped off his tongue. When he was under the influence of his precious smack, he had no control over himself whatsoever. There was a type of evil that jumped inside of his mind, grabbed ahold of his reins, and drove him into whichever direction it wanted to. No matter how dangerous.

"What did you just say to me?"

Everyone was staring now.

Their eyes were glued on the pair like a band of fucking hawks.

"You heard me," he growled. A much darker sort of malevolence flowed through his veins – he hadn't felt like this in such a long time. "Fuck off for a bit, yeah? No matter how much you wish it were true, our relationship is not a_ mythical_ fairytale. Get over it."

She searched her brain for a response, though she were too hurt to process anything other than utter gibberish. She was tired of it – she was tired of having to put up with his insolence and cutting comments. It was like she didn't know her own boyfriend anymore (obviously she wasn't the only one who had lost him). She couldn't help but to wonder where and how everything went wrong between the two of them.

Gathering up every drop of courage she could find within herself, Clare looked him straight in his glossy eyes and muttered those four dreadful words,_ "we are so done." _Of course this wasn't going to last for more than a brief second. Whenever they would break up, it wasn't long before one of them would come crawling back to the other. They couldn't seem to manage without each other. It was a bizarre kind of magnetic pull.

Without breathing another word, Clare turned on her heel and stomped away to her first class of the morning in a hurry.

Despite their blowout and every student in the school staring him down, Eli collected his books and continued on with his day. He was numb to absolutely everything around him. A beautiful kind of lethargy. The best and worst thing about his situation was, he didn't know how to feel anymore; he was emotionless, impassive.

Eli rounded the nearest corner, his eyelids slowly fluttering shut as he swayed down the darkening corridor – he had been finding it harder and harder to keep his eyes open lately.

**And there's the first chapter. ;) chapter two won't actually be up until early-April, which doesn't seem too far away. It will be longer and there will be more characters coming into play. Let me know in the reviews who you want to see in this story – it could be any character from any season, I'm not picky. Though, I am very awkward at writing these a/ns. THANK YOU for reading, and please don't leave me just yet; things are about to get good.**


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